By Cliff Richey
@AcingDepression
I’ve been thinking about the art of competing.
Competing has been my life. Some of the best competitors are doctors, some are lawyers. I was a high school dropout, blue collar competitor. Actually my competitive mind-set was my biggest weapon.
When I was young I fell in love with the idea of having the chance to win ever time I played. Either in practice or tournaments I got excited about playing somebody and have that great feeling of “Hey I’ve got a chance to beat this guy.” I practiced a lot and hard. I felt if I could get my skills at a high level, I had a chance to win. The keyword is “chance.” I knew that there were no guarantees. But that chance to win overpowered the thought of losing. As I got older my mindset changed. I eventually feared losing so much that the excitement of winning had been lost. And for me it wasn’t an easy switch to turn back on. That great thrilling chance to win became an agonizing fear of losing.
So let me tell you a true story. I’m a good golfer and at my best I was a scratch golfer in tournament play. In my later years I would get my “work” done on the court and then go tee it up. After playing a young guy a practice match on our private court, I was driving out to my club to play golf. The tennis match I had just played was not a good one. I was excited to go tee off and have a chance to score a good round in golf. It suddenly hit me! Tennis was still my business and I played ten or twelve senior tour events a year. The guys on tour were Rod Laver, Ken Rosewall, Stan Smith and Ilie Nastase to name a few. But here I was still playing the tennis tour with a negative and bad attitude. And yet I couldn’t get to the club fast enough to tee off and play my “other sport.” And I’m thinking “I’m competing better in golf than in tennis.” It was hard to admit that to myself, but I knew it was 100 percent true. Then I asked myself the key question. Why? If I’m getting more out of myself in golf (my avocation) than tennis how could that be?
Well, it was actually pretty simple. I loved having the chance to play a good round of golf. It was exciting to anticipate that. I knew I could shoot a 68 or a 69. I also knew I could shoot a 74 or a 75. But the thrill of a good solid round over road in my mind the bad one. But there was something missing in the equation, and I knew I had to figure out why I could have that attitude and mindset in golf and not on the tennis court. I knew that a less-than-good round of golf would bother me for a few hours but I would soon be calling my golf pals to play again the next day! Then it dawned on me what the key was. And believe me it’s the key. In golf I fully accepted the fact that I could shoot a poor or even a bad round. I accepted the reality of the day. It was probably because it was my avocation and not my business. But so what? I knew that if I could take my golf attitude to the court, I might have some gold in my hands. That simple fact was key— I had to accept losing as a part of the competing equation. I was free to play good golf when I accepted the fact of a poor round. So I was like a kid again. I had the excitement on the course of “having that chance.” Not a guarantee but a chance. That way fear took a backseat just where it needs to be.
At that time I had three events in tennis I was prepping for – in Tulsa, Stratton, Vermont and then the Senior Tour Championships at The Forum in Los Angeles. I had played two and a half years up to that time with poor results. I literally was shaving one day just before leaving for those three tour events. I looked at myself and literally said out loud, “Cliffy I’m man enough to lose. But I have a wonderful gift and that is the chance to win!” And then I did one more thing, I said to the mirror, “Lord thank you for giving me the chance to do good.” I became thankful for each match and I gave thanks for having an opponent. You can’t win without a guy to play against. Now would it work in actual tournament play? I felt it should. I knew it did out on the golf course.
I went to Tulsa and I simply would tell myself before each match, “Cliffy losing is in the equation, but I’m being given a chance to win.” I had a mindset of thankfulness as I grabbed my four rackets and walked out of the hotel room door. I said out loud, “It’s showtime.” I had match point in the Tulsa final but lost to Cliff Drysdale. But it was a great event for me compared to the previous two and a half years. The next week I again got to the final losing to Ken Rosewall 6-1, 6-0. My attitude was good but Rosewall was way too good for me that day. But it was another second-place finish and I knew my new mindset was working. I had proof. It was fun to play tennis again. Two finals in a row and the big test was still ahead. We flew cross country with a three-hour time change and a new surface. We played on carpet at The Forum in Los Angeles. And it was the season-ending Senior Tour Championship. Laver, Rosewall, Drysdale, Roy Emerson, Tom Okker, Mark Cox and Owen Davidson were all there. These guys would gouge out your eyes in a back alley for a cheese sandwich! We were older, but the fight in our hearts was as big as ever. Would my new attitude hold up? Would I fear losing? Would the old negative mental cobwebs come back? How could I look at this Hall of Fame field and not get excited that I had a chance to win? I walked out of the Royal Crowne Plaza Hotel each day excited that I had that very chance to win. I beat Okker, Laver and Cox to win our Tour Championship.
The new attitude worked! It’s not a matter of saying, “Think positively” but it’s more using certain mental keys that create a good competitive mindset. And this mindset I think can work on the court, course, or in a job of any kind.
Let me give you a few key bullet points.
1) Think like a spectator. What? Yep! A spectator is excited to see who wins. They root for their guy, but then accept the “other” result as part of the package. It’s letting the excitement of the unknown motivate you. Jimmy Connors was a pit fighter. Win or lose he was probably more upset that the match had ended.
2) The chance to win has to always override the fear of losing. It’s about 65% to 35%.
3) To win you first have to accept reality. And the reality is every time you play you can lose. Accept it! But hey I’m being given a wonderful gift—the chance to have a win. Be thankful. The spirit of being thankful is stronger than fear!
4) See competing like a young kid does. You can recreate that mindset.Here’s the kicker—it’s your choice!
Cliff Richey was a semifinalist at Roland Garros in 1970 and a semifinalist at the US Open in 1970 and 1972. He won the first ever Grand Prix points title in pro tennis in 1970 and was a member of the 1969 and 1970 winning U.S. Davis Cup teams. He won 45 singles title in his career spanning the amateur and pro eras. He is also the author of the book “Acing Depression: A Tennis Champion’s Toughest Match” for sale here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0942257669/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_tKfsxb12PF601 as well as “Your Playbook To Beating Depression” with Mardy Garrison here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1937559688/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_0WP5VHT63EYP3KCBYSSH\
